Is this rebuke Biblical?

[Laura]

A few weeks ago my husband's sister rebuked me for not attending church (i.e. a church building) on Sunday morning. My husband and I were talking about having some family pictures taken at his sister's friend's apple orchard and I was asking for her phone number so we could get the owners' permission. Our photographer suggested Saturday or Sunday morning. She is an old friend who was driving from far away (with a baby) and we wanted to be flexible for her schedule and in case of bad weather. His sister was shocked that we were considering doing them on a Sunday morning because we should be in church. (At this point in the conversation my husband was listening to someone else talking, as we were at his parents house and the whole family was around, so he didn't hear any of her rebuke.) She continued to allude to us not being in church regularly, citing Hebrews 10, and said it was the Lord's day. She also mentioned the church being God's house.

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
-Hebrews 10:24-25

I was very flustered and not prepared but I was aware of what Hebrews 10 says. I said that the church is the body of Christ, not a building. I can't remember if I said every day is the Lord's day. She went on to suggest that we were isolating ourselves by not worshiping with other Christians on Sunday morning in a church building. We were talking about the pictures while I was gathering our things up to leave to get our daughter home for a nap, so that was pretty much the end of the conversation as we were ready to go.

When we left I felt awful. I had been wondering if we were going against God by not fellowshipping with other Christians, but I also know that church is full of leaven: 501C3, tithing, Christmas, Easter, trunk-or-treat, cross symbols, new-age "Christian" music, gluttonous pastor, etc. My husband has not asked us to go to church in a long time (I'm sure partly due to Covid and them being shut down and because we haven't attended regularly since my daughter was born) and I wasn't going to ask him to go. I'm sure if will come up again in the future, as he continues to send tithe, something else we disagree on. He knows that I don't want to attend that church, although when he has asked, I've told him I will go out of obedience.

When we got home, I began to search and study to see if she was Biblically correct in her rebuke. It is my understanding that there are no commandments stating that we must worship on a specific day of the week and I am certain about my statement that the church is Christ's people, not a building.

And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.
-Colossians 1:18

I am currently reading in Deuteronomy and while studying the meaning of "observer of times", I came across Galatians 4, which refers to the sabbaths and Holy Days God commanded for the Jews.

But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage? Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
-Galatians 4:9-11

Does this not extend to the traditions of Sunday worship today? Doesn't Sunday worship stem from the Catholic Church's attempt to fuse their pagan practices with the sabbath? Then I read Romans 14.

One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it.
-Romans 14:5

It sounds like this verse is saying that whatever day a person chooses to dedicate to the Lord is acceptable. I decided to look at Christopher's teachings to see if this is a topic that has already been addressed. I found the quote below from the article on the sabbath that mentions this same verse in Romans 14. (I added the bold and underline in the first paragraph of the quote for emphasis.) http://www.creationliberty.com/articles/sabbath.php

The Lord Jesus Christ is our passover and our sabbath. He, and He alone, is the fulfillment of these prophecies, and if we continue in those traditions, like celebrating passover and keeping the Sabbath, we are denying that He has fulfilled the law and prophets. If someone wants to have a specific day that they designate to honor the Lord God in their homes, that's perfectly acceptable, but when they teach the Body of Christ that they are required to do this, that's not acceptable, and I will not let them deceive my brethren.

One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
-Romans 14:5

Finally, I want to quote the leavened website again with their "principles" on how to keep the Sabbath:

"We keep the Sabbath by enjoying a spiritually fulfilling Sabbath. On the Sabbath, we are to pause from our normal routines - our work, shopping, errands, activities, sports, television - and spend the day doing things that are spiritually focused."
-Erik Jones, "How to Keep the Sabbath as a Christian," retrieved Aug 11, 2015, [lifehopeandtruth.com/bible/10-commandments/sabbath/how-to-keep-the-sabbath]

Folks, THAT is the problem right there; we have a generation that is so indoctrinated and trained into the traditions and pleasures of this world, they only take out time from their precious worldy habits to focus on the things of God one day out of the week. (And not really the whole day, just a small portion of it.) Furthermore, if people give up their worldly pleasures for a day, they're not enjoying the Sabbath, and therefore, if we follow the teachings of this website, they're not keeping the Sabbath. If the only spiritual focus you have is sitting in a church building pew for 45 minutes once a week, then you need to examine yourself immediately:

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
-2 Corinthians 13:5

I'm not saying Christians need to study their Bibles and pray every hour of every day, but you ought to do it some throughout the week. If a church building has become your only place of studying the Word of God, you are a part of CHURCHianity, not CHRISTianity, and if you believe and teach that all Christians must observe the Sabbath, then, according to the Lord Jesus Christ, you're no better than the dog licking his own vomit.

While most "Christians" do not claim they keep the sabbath, they apply similar principles to Sunday, but usually only Sunday morning. I know my husband's sister does not abstain from ALL activities on Sundays, she just reserves Sunday morning as the Lord's day. If I am understanding this correctly, she can choose to worship God on Sunday and I can choose to worship Him on another day, and we are both correct and should not judge one another. If I am wrong in anything that I have said, please correct me. I hope I am reading these verses with clear understanding and not with clouded goggles in an attempt to justify myself.

What my husband's sister does not know is that I am part of this forum and listen to CLE teachings at home. And thanks to the work of the Holy Spirit, my husband and I are now listening together. She never once asked me any questions, rather rebuked me for not following a specific set of rules for worship. My question is, what constitutes "assembling together" and am I guilty of forsaking that?

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
-Matthew 18:20

[creationliberty]

Well, this is a separate article I have had mind to write, but was not sure when I was going to get around to it. This is a continual problem I see in many people who have written to me.

You sister-in-law may have been wrong in rebuking the fact that you do not attend a church building, but if you all have put off fellowshipping together in assembly with the church (i.e. the body of believers), then you are in disobedience to the Word of God, and on that point, she would be correct. Thus, your sister-in-law was saying the right thing for the wrong reasons, due to her ignorance of Scripture, but the example that your family is currently setting gives her the impression of disobedience, and that is not a good example to set when that women sounds like she needs to hear the truth of the Gospel.

I have quoted Heb 10:25 to many people in emails, and most of them tend to ignore me. Because they can't find a building, therefore, they just give up on fellowship, which is nonsensical in a day where the internet exists. Even the leavened church buildings have extended their reach online (at least, many of them have over the past decade), and many options are available, but when it comes down to it, the three main reasons I have seen for Christians not to look is resentment, hopelessness, and laziness, neither of which could be Biblically justified, and all three are also qualities that creep up on those who do not assemble with the church in the first place, so it becomes downward spiral.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
-Gal 5:13

Many have written me unconcerned about whether or not they assemble together with the church because they have liberty, but we ought to be cautious that we do not use our liberty for an occasion unto the flesh, meaning that it is to serve our personal feelings and opinions in selfishness. I am the first to admit I am guilty of doing these things, even concerning the assembly of the church for a number of years, which is why I try to exercise patience with those who do not assemble together, but I see the problem, I know the reasons, and I know the excuses, which is why I started up a ministry online, to solve those problems, address those reasons, and take away those excuses.

Therefore, knowing that options are available to your family, the effort to solve that problem starts with you. Again, this is coming from someone who has been down that road, but has had to do an awful lot more work than just simply choosing where to meet up.

The questions I have that are left unanswered would be:

1. Why does the husband not assemble anywhere?

2. What options is the husband open to considering?

3. Why have you not pressed the matter for discussion?

4. Have you looked into the church building your sister-in-law attends to explain to her why you have not assembled together in such a place where she attends?

I remember there being more questions I had when I was reading through this, but now I can't remember them. I need to write an article on this simply because this is a problem that needs to be addressed, and sadly, most churchgoers do not understand the reasons why it need to be addressed, other than their pastor said so because he wants their tithe money. There are important Biblical reasons why we need fellowship with one another, and there are a number of members we have added to our church just this past year who have learned that lesson, and understand much more clearly why it is so important, not just for themselves, but also for others.

[Laura]

Christopher, thank you for your response and for your patience. Reading your comments has brought me to repentance in tears, as I am guilty of not assembling together and have done nothing to change it. This is something I have avoided for a while now. Let me answer your questions, and perhaps that will help you remember the other questions you had.

1. Why does the husband not assemble anywhere?

I have not asked my husband directly why he (or we) do not assemble anywhere, but I believe it is for a couple of reasons: he knows I do not want to go, and he works so much he hardly ever gets to spend time with me and our daughter, both of which are not valid excuses for disobeying God.

2. What options is the husband open to considering?

I want to preface this answer by saying that I recently rewrote my testimony because I am embarrassed by the introduction post I shared here on the forum, as it was completely vague and I left out all the details of my conversion. I have taken some of what follows from my revised testimony that I was hoping to one day share with everyone and it might help you better understand my answer.

After my husband and I married, we began looking for a church to attend together, as I did not like the one he and his family attended. It is a small, non-denominational church (the same one his sister attends). I missed the traditions of the Methodist church I grew up in: the robes the pastor wore and the choir, bells, songs and worship structure that were familiar. Our search for a new church happened not long after I was saved and the Holy Spirit had not yet shown me the errors of these church buildings so I was basically looking for all the wrong things in a church. I had no discernment.

Over the next two years I began researching church denominations and their beliefs. I prayed God would lead us to the right church. During this time my husband agreed to attend a United Methodist Church, and we went there a handful of times. Around the time our daughter was born, the Lord opened my eyes to the corruption of the church buildings and the false doctrine that is taught and that is when we stopped attending regularly. The following year I joined the forum. A long answer to your question - I think my husband is open to considering another church building because we did look elsewhere in the past, but I don't think he would be open to meeting online. Despite all that I have shared with him, he still seeks after the traditions of men and displays a lot of attitudes of a false convert, such as: thinking Christians must attend a church building, are required to tithe and observe the holidays, etc.

3. Why have you not pressed the matter for discussion?

I have not pressed the matter for discussion out of sin: fear and laziness. I have a feeling when I bring it up my husband will say that we need to start attending the same leavened church building his family attends. I guess I was trying to justify myself thinking that not assembling at all is better than assembling with false converts in the church building.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
-2 Corinthians 6:14

Now I can see the error in this. As a wife, I am to submit to my husband's authority over our family, so if he is not open to options other than a church building, I must obey him and stop putting my wants and desires above his. It would certainly provide an opportunity to share the true Gospel with those attending the church (outside of the service), but this is something I struggle doing. I keep praying for His strength to let go of these fears. I need to figure out how to make our schedule work so that perhaps I can join one of CLE's other meetups that are not held on Sunday, that is if I would be accepted into the church.

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
- 2 Corinthians 13:5

4. Have you looked into the church building your sister-in-law attends to explain to her why you have not assembled together in such a place where she attends?

I have been to the church my sister-in-law attends and found that it is full of leaven like so many others: 501C3, tithing, Christmas, Easter, trunk-or-treat, cross symbols, new-age "Christian" music, gluttonous pastor, etc. This is the same church my husband attended regularly prior to our marriage. I have not shared why these things are unbiblical with her or anyone else in his family. I have only made a few comments casually. I have been afraid and discouraged because my husband has not received or responded well to the things I have shared with him. That is a poor excuse and I know I need to be more bold in sharing Christ's Gospel. She is not a very nice person, and I am not good speaking these things, so a letter may be more appropriate.

I know you have suggested in a previous post that I attend church with my husband and write down what is taught and share it on the forum for others to help me separate the truth from the leaven. This is probably what I will have to do, as I don't see my husband being open to assembling with others online and not surprisingly, I have not found any church building in our area that is Biblical. You have also suggested I go to the church but stay with my daughter or do my own Bible study outside of the sanctuary where the pastor is teaching. I can definitely see him objecting to the latter, but I won't know until I ask. He has said before that he doesn't like it when I pick apart everything the pastor says. I've tried telling him that we are to examine everything according to Scripture, but it falls on deaf ears. Obviously, there are a lot of problems in his heart if he refuses to hold the pastor accountable according to Scripture and just wants to attend every Sunday for the warm-fuzzy feeling it brings. He doesn't understand the dangers of a little leaven.

A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.
-Galatians 5:9

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
-1 Thessalonians 5:21

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
- Acts 17:11

[Kenneth Winslow]

She never once asked me any questions,...

Personally, if someone is getting on to me about something, and they don't ask any questions, I simply don't bother engaging with them.

People who attack you or chastise you for something and never solicit any information from you really don't care why you chose to do what you are doing.
Therefore, attempting to explain anything to them is a waste of time and just an annoyance to them.

I simply wait for them to ask an honest question that needs to be answered, or just wait for them to stop talking (if I'm in a situation where I cannot just walk away), and then move on to the next topic or activity.

I just have to have biblical justification for what I am or am not doing. What other people think about it, particularly unbelievers, is irrelevant. And if they don't even bother to ask any curious questions, again, it is a waste of time and effort to attempt to justify yourself to them.

[anvilhauler]

If you feel up to it an explanation to family members may suffice in telling them that although the Biblical gospel message came to the British they mainly rejected that gospel message in favour of their own existing pagan traditions.  The USA copied the pagan traditions of the British.

[Laura]

Kenneth, you bring up a good point. It bothered me that she didn't ask me to explain why I didn't want to attend their church building or inquire if we were attending a different church, but in the end it wouldn't have mattered much because, as Christopher pointed out, she was correct in that part of her rebuke. I see a lot of pride in her attitude (I am guilty of this too) so I have doubts that she will consider anything I have to say.

Kevin, thank you for that information. That is a quick way to summarize why so many pagan traditions are practiced in churches today. This is definitely something I can use to start a conversation.

Christopher, if or when you have the time to write an article on the importance of born-again Christians assembling together, I look forward to reading it. I don't think I have an understanding of it as the only experience I have is in the leavened church buildings where things are done on pretense and are full of vain conversation. I think it would be beneficial for me to have support and accountability from those who truly care about my salvation.

[Jeanne]

Laura, I have to ask; what is stopping you from joining CLE? As has been mentioned before elsewhere, you don't have to be able to attend all of our meetings in order to be a part of our fellowship. I'm sure if you made the effort, the Lord would make a way for you to be able to join us. If you know you are in violation of God's Word in NOT having fellowship with other believers, what your husband thinks is secondary, unless he absolutely forbids you to do it. Then you need to obey him and keep praying. Explain to him again why you want to do this and why you do NOT want to go to a church building, because even if you did agree to go to one with him, you would STILL be in violation of God's Word because you would be yoking together with unbelievers, not fellowshipping with true believers.

[Laura]

Jeanne, the things that are stopping me from joining CLE are the same things that are stopping me from pressing this matter with my husband - fear and laziness. I have been hesitant to join because I'm afraid I won't be able to commit 100% of the time. Is participating in the Sunday Skype call a requirement for joining? Is there a list somewhere of the other meetings and times? Evenings are difficult, but as you said, if I make the effort and it is the Lord's will, He will make it work. In this situation I am not putting my faith and trust in Him.

Regarding church buildings and yoking with false converts, my concern is with a toddler (still in diapers, unfortunately) and a baby on the way, I really need to be with our children, so if my husband is firm in wanting to raise them in the church building, I would have to go with them. In a past thread, Christopher has said that it might set a bad example if I do not obey my husband. He wants to partake in so many worldly things that he doesn't understand go against God's Word (leavened church buildings, holidays, etc.) where is the line drawn between obeying God and obeying my husband? This is still unclear to me and is part of the reason I have avoided it for so long. I'm almost certain that when I bring it up he will repeat the same things he's said before - that our family needs to attend a church building - and I don't know what course of action is best. Perhaps Christopher is right that I go along with him but distance myself, and as you suggested, continue praying. That's what I plan on doing at Christmas - going into another room but still having access to care for my daughter.

I know this is not the first time we've discussed this on here, and I want to thank you all for your patience with me. I haven't been praying about this matter specifically and I need to start so that I have a clear understanding of what to do when we have this discussion.

[creationliberty]

Have no doubts in your mind and heart, fearing that you will not receive what you are asking Him for.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
-James 1:5-7

[Laura]

Christopher, thank you for sharing that Bible verse. I need to pray over this matter, trust in the Lord to give me discernment, and let the Holy Spirit guide me.

[Pilgrim Mike]

Is there another forum/group that I could join under CLE being as every " church " where I live is a 501 c3 country club? Thank you and God bless.

[creationliberty]

Are you talking about this?
http://creationliberty.com/faq.php#joinchurch

[Pilgrim Mike]

Thank you. My street preaching partner told me about because we talk about it from time to time when we go to events ect.

[samprice716]

Laura:
I know this a kind of old post that you made. But I felt led to read it anyway. And i'm not sure if you will get a notification about me writing to you. But I just want to say I sympathize with your situation. After reading through all the messages back and forth I can see where the problem lies. And correct me if I'm wrong. But maybe the problem really is choosing between family or what the Lord has convicted you of. As I've dealt many times with having to choose whether to be obedient to my husband's lead or being obedient to the word of God. And it has been very difficult for me because I know scripture says..
 
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:24

But then I think back to Ananias and Sapphira and how they both lied to the Holy Ghost and that didn't end so well. The thing that struck me the most about that story is that they did what they did, together and they were both held responsible which lead to their death.

Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. Acts 5:1

That always bring the fear of God in me as it did the whole church when heard they about what happened to them.

I know that is not necessarily related but that is always something I think about when making decisions. Mainly because my husband is not false convert.. I fully believe he is not saved. If fact he has told me he doesn't believe the bible could be real. But yeah, I just want to say.. I will pray that the Lord will give you his discernment in these matters. Because I know this can be very difficult.

On another note, about fellowshipping with other believers. About 4 months or so ago I left a "church building" I had been attending since I was a child. Now I did end up leaving the "church" in my late teens and that is when I got myself down the wrong path. And as i'm sure you've read my testimony, I have only recently within the last few years received repentance from my sins and turned to Christ. And upon moving back to the United States in 2020, in the very beginning of the pandemic. I was very desperate for fellowship. When I moved, I left behind the only christian friend I had while living overseas. It was a very difficult transition for me. And so I decided to just go back to the "church" I attended as a child. Wrong choice. I thought it was edifying for me being around other believers. But it turned out to be more confusing than anything. I've come to realize they were picking and choosing whether they wanted to speak about repentance. And many other confusing things and teachings. Can I just say that is such an issue in the modern church?! And they also played so much new age junk music. And I know that music is nothing but junk because once I started listening to new age music it lead me straight that doctrine. In particular: Hillsong which is a part of Bethel Church. But i'm sure you've heard about them. I gotta wonder how can "churches" play that music and think that new christians would not somehow find out about the doctrines that they preach. It just endangers christians in being deceived! Which I was at one point in my life. Sorry.. didn't mean to get on a rant. I talk how I type. The point I wanted to make is I ended up leaving that church and since then I've felt a lack of fellowship. So i felt pressed whether I was to choose to listen to what the Holy Spirit has convincted me of or do I choose the commandments and doctrines of men? I did choose what the Holy Spirit has convincted me of.  And since then I have left the "church building". And not looked back. I cried all the way home after service. I realized I was holding on way too tightly to the doctrines of men. Since then, I did make one friend as of right that I believe is saved. But there are some areas of scripture we disagree. And then I found this site. Which I honestly didn't even think had a ministry in the first place. Maybe the Lord has lead you here as well. He makes no accidents.

Keeping you and your family in prayer, Laura. And if you ever need another christian wife to speak with, I can be there.

[Pilgrim Mike]

Some people just want to argue which doesn't get anyone anywhere really. Most of the it's due to pride and arrogance. When I'm confronted with someone whose comments are full of pride and arrogance I just tell them they're full of pride and it's not good then I quote proverbs 16:18. You can typically tell a lot about people in this situation as to where they're being genuine or not especially if they " argue with God's word.

[creationliberty]

Just to clarify, this topic was over a year ago. I have already done a teaching on that subject (with an audio teaching):
http://www.creationliberty.com/articles/fellowship.php

[samprice716]

Sorry, I just saw the last post on this forum which was from Nov. 19, 2021. So I thought it was only a week old. But now I’m scrolling to the top and realized it’s from last year.

[Pilgrim Mike]

The article about rebuke is one that I think we should look at a little more. Of course there's many to choose from and they're all helpful. I'm personally guilty of not studying this topic as much as I should. I'm going to correct that here shortly. There's a proverb that says " faithful are the wounds of a friend than a kiss from an enemy".

[Rowan M.]

There's a proverb that says " faithful are the wounds of a friend than a kiss from an enemy".

That would be Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:6) A favourite of mine, too! 

[Pilgrim Mike]

Rowan M, thanks for pointing that out. At the time I couldn't recall the scripture in its entirety. I've been trying to get better at remembering scripture without " butchering it " so to speak.