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Watchman4Lord:
Greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
My name is Cal...

I'm looking for true Spiritual fellowship with other like minded Disciples of Jesus Christ.

I first took note of this "creationliberty" website due to your article on "Christmas: Rejecting Jesus" which I found to be true in every measure, because the Holy Spirit started revealing to me the pagan origins many years ago.  Jer 10:3-5 was the begining of me understanding about the "Tree", with silver & gold.  When the Holy Spirit gave me understanding I was stunned, and knew it was true.
In February 2024, will mark the 46 years ago when the Lord came and saved me through the Convicting Power of the Holy Spirit of my sin.
I have been out of the "traditional church system" for over 23 years.
I am retired, I do not work at the present, I've never been married as the Lord called me to be single. I also write a Blog which I started nearly 4 years ago, writing on many of the same "Topics" as "Chris" has written.

Here is a bit of my testimony, if you desire to read more in-depth details of how my walk with the Lord has been, I'd be glad to give a link to my Blog, "if" that is acceptable/allowed on this Forum.

I was living in the homosexual lifestyle for many years, and 46 years ago, the Lord revealed His truth to me, and brought conviction of my sinful life, and that it was a lie.

He granted me the Grace to see the truth, and the gift of Repentance…I was raised within a Baptist background as a youth, baptized in water, yet….I was NOT born again. I through the pressure of an Aunt “accepted Jesus” as my Savior and became “religious” for a little while. Yet lived a secret life in the gay lifestyle. I was sexually, emotionally, and physically abused by my mother, who was also a victim of abuse by her father, I lived a life of depression, desiring to be a “girl” at a very young age, because my mother desired girls. I was rejected by her, and my father was not there for me also. She hated him and me because I was first born, and named after my father. My father was an adulterer, and was not faithful during their marriage.

I was also sexually abused through friends of theirs when staying overnight, due to being childhood friends with their two boys. I grew up in so much confusion, pain, and suffered endless depressions, never had real friends in school, so I fantasized my whole life in being and desiring to be someone else, due to the abuses, I also tired to commit suicide at the age of 14.

However, when the Lord came and saved me at the age of 26, in 1978, alone in my rented room in a boarding house owned by two gay men, without a Bible, but a simple tract which I found on the subway, He came and revealed to me, He was alive and very real, I was stunned because I always thought I was a “Christian”, but once He saved me I immediately knew I was NEVER born again as a Youth, because HE was never real to me, but that night I knew He was truly real, I wept as I have never wept before, seeing and knowing that I lived a lie, and that HE truly Loved me enough as I was but knew how HE could change my life. If I may, it was almost like a Saul moment, before he became Paul. I could not believe that this God truly Loved me, and was REAL and ALIVE! I was forgiven, and a cleansing took place so powerful, I kept weeping and at the same time so filled with a rapturous Joy unspeakable! It lasted hours……..but it was too be a very long journey indeed.

However due to my rebirth, I was a babe in Christ, and I looked for a church to go to, so I ended up at a “Pentecostal” church for a couple of months, then due to start sensing things were not so right at that church, I was introduced into a “Home Fellowship”, where several families were all living together in an old country farmhouse in a rural area of the city. This fellowship was being lead by a woman, pastor, teacher, “prophetess”. Due to the “Love” I felt there I was sucked right into it, but alas, it is also where I learned Doctrine of Demons, and abuses and more confusions…..she was of the Hyper-faith movement, also with influences of “Manifested Sons of God” and “Kingdom Now” belief’s. Any time I had confusion concerning some of the actions taking place I would question her, and she would immediately start accusing me of having a “spirit” of rebellion, which frightened me to my core! To make a long story short, eventually after a few years with this group, while at work, the fellowship was raided by the police, it was printed in all the area newspapers, with photo’s of some of the members. Her sons which had left the “fellowship” had reported there were abuses being done, and it was truly correct…….I was so confused, yet I could not stay with this group, and I deserted them, so I thought myself as a Judas, and that I was not truly born-again, I was a traitor…..but I learned that this woman pastor was arrested and charged with various abuses, which I knew was true, she ended up being found guilty, and sent to prison for 6 months. So many families and individuals were deeply wounded by this Cult.

It has been a very painful, and at times a nightmarish mental walk, to undue all the false teaching and belief-isms, the deep scares of sexual abuses by a parent, more depressions to the point I no longer desired to live, but the Lord above kept me through it all, and yet used me for other’s during this whole ordeal. I have learned not to trust in any man, not to be swayed by other’s belief’s, but to lean upon the Lord, and His Word, to trust Him in His power to save, to sanctify the soul from every fleshly, and wicked way, especially my emotions!

This is just part of my testimony, what I've come to understand and realize is that the Lord is the Author & Finisher of our Faith Walk, and that He is the Lover of our souls, and to know Him is too understand His ways, and what is acceptable unto Him, not our fleshly human reasoning.  Eph 5:9  (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Eph 5:10  Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Eph 5:11  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
I do think this enough, I do hope I have covered as much as you have requested.  I look forward to future fellowship with you all.
The Lord bless you....In His Love...

creationliberty:

--- Quote ---Any time I had confusion concerning some of the actions taking place I would question her, and she would immediately start accusing me of having a “spirit” of rebellion
--- End quote ---
Yep, that's how all false prophets keep their followers in line. Nothing like fear and coercion to keep them submissive.  :-X

Watchman4Lord:
Yes, that is what I started to learn in the early 90's.  I also learned that "she" was not causing me to depend upon the Lord for all things, to grow in the Faith of Christ, leaning upon Him for all my needs.  Cult's always make you feel that you need them to keep on the straight and narrow path, when they were all along walking on the Broad path unto destruction. I learned many a hard lesson from that and other experiences, which Babes in Christ will walk.  We are so ignorant of His Ways, His Thoughts, His desire on how the Body of Christ is too function as laid out by Paul.  As believer's we learn that Lord shall use us according to His desire for us, according to His Will for our lives.

Since we are given to Him by the Father, in no wise shall HE lose one disciple......and He is always Faithful to His Promises when we are not faithful......as so many in the Old Testament & the New testifies of this. We can depend on nothing coming from us, for we become all things as HE is sanctified within our hearts unto Him through the workings of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Praise the Lord...

Kenneth Winslow:
Hey Cal,

You addressed the sins your parents and others have committed against you, but what about the ones you committed against Jesus Christ, other than being "gay" (assuming you mean sodomizing other men)? Don't get me wrong, we don't need to know all the details about everything, but you may have overlooked some of that, unless that was the only one.


--- Quote from: Watchman4Lord on December 28, 2023, 01:31:43 PM ---... but that night I knew He was truly real, I wept as I have never wept before, seeing and knowing that I lived a lie, and that HE truly Loved me enough as I was but knew how HE could change my life. ..., I kept weeping and at the same time so filled with a rapturous Joy unspeakable! It lasted hours……..but it was too be a very long journey indeed.

--- End quote ---

Weeping is often something that happens when we are born again and that is a good thing, but I didn't catch here why you were weeping so much.


--- Quote from: Watchman4Lord on December 28, 2023, 01:31:43 PM ---...and that HE truly Loved me enough as I was...
--- End quote ---
Can you add a bit more to this part?

Watchman4Lord:

--- Quote from: Kenneth Winslow on December 29, 2023, 09:36:50 AM ---Hey Cal,

You addressed the sins your parents and others have committed against you, but what about the ones you committed against Jesus Christ, other than being "gay" (assuming you mean sodomizing other men)? Don't get me wrong, we don't need to know all the details about everything, but you may have overlooked some of that, unless that was the only one.

The evening of my conversion, the Lord opened my ears to hear, that I was not born gay, which I thought I was during my childhood, teenage years, and in my 20's, it was a lie, and that homosexuality was indeed a sin.  That was all He convicted me of at that time, when He began my walk with Him. However during my life with Him, He made me realize all the other sins I committed, stealing, lying, hating, etc.


--- Quote from: Watchman4Lord on December 28, 2023, 01:31:43 PM ---... but that night I knew He was truly real, I wept as I have never wept before, seeing and knowing that I lived a lie, and that HE truly Loved me enough as I was but knew how HE could change my life. ..., I kept weeping and at the same time so filled with a rapturous Joy unspeakable! It lasted hours……..but it was too be a very long journey indeed.

--- End quote ---

Weeping is often something that happens when we are born again and that is a good thing, but I didn't catch here why you were weeping so much.

Well I stated "seeing and knowing that I lived a lie," the lie was believing I was born gay, that I thought I was a Christian, since I was 11 or 12 years of age, attending a "Calvary Baptist church" in California while living with my father's parents, and my aunt. I was baptized in water, involved with the choir, children's Sunday bible class, Boys Brigade ect. And I thought that God only dwelt in the "church building".  I realized that was also a lie.  However that evening when I realized how Jesus was truly alive and real and compared it too my childhood belief's, I saw how I believed about Him, and yet that evening I realized I did not truly Know Him.  The reality that I was truly seeing Him and getting to know Him, kept me weeping with such gratefulness He came and saved me, and also the reality He was truly real and loved me, kept me for hours bathing in the Truth of His existance and mercy. So weeping sometimes was a joyous weeping, mixed with such joy, that He saved me.  I hope that answers your question.

--- Quote from: Watchman4Lord on December 28, 2023, 01:31:43 PM ---...and that HE truly Loved me enough as I was...
--- End quote ---
Can you add a bit more to this part?

--- End quote ---

Yes, the Lord's Word states the Love of God leadeth a man unto repentance.Rom 2:4  Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
My room was filled with such a convicting love, there was no condemnation, just as the Lord chose the man with a legion of demons, cast them out, and the man was properly clothed afterward.  The women caught in adultery who was going to be stoned.  Also the Lord stated He did not come to condemn man, but to save them. Joh 3:17  For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

I hope this explains what I meant by that statement.

Sorry for how this turned out. I need to get acquainted how to use the "quote" tool, then my response.  Sorry for the confusion.
Thank you for asking.....the Lord bless you...

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