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Introduce Yourself / John from FL
« on: July 12, 2022, 10:00:25 PM »
Hi Everyone,
I found CLE a while ago. I've read many of the articles and listened to many of the audio teachings but never introduced myself. I've been meaning to join for a long time as it's extremely hard to find a group of believers who want to follow Christ in truth. I'm surrounded by 501c3 church buildings.
Eventually, I will most likely ask to be an official member but for now, I want to start with my testimony. I know it's lengthy (despite it being the "short" version), but I didn't want to miss important details. Please see below:
----
-I grew up wanting for nothing. Still, I dealt with seasons of crippling depression and wondering about the purpose of life despite being raised in church/youth group culture, in a religious home, and feeling emotional during the unbiblical altar call and praying a "repeat after me" style prayer every so often.
-Grew up being forced to sing the song “Gentle Jesus meek and mild” before bed by my parents. After reading about Christ for myself in my late teens, realized he was gentle at times, but also stern and he did not shy away from topics like hell.
-In fact, he was clear about what Hell would be like and who would be going there. He said follow me and didn’t back down, whereas in the typical church building, they teach “accept Jesus please, he loves you so much” which is partially true, but not at all how Christ presented himself.
Christ was never desperate for followers (or big numbers so he could brag about all the salvations during a sunday service), and didn’t stutter when he said “repent or you will likewise perish”. I had never seen this side of Jesus before for myself and it pierced me to the core. Reading though the gospels was genuinely hard and honestly each sentence felt like a personal rebuke from Christ himself to me.
-I also read extra biblical content like Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God, Jesus-is Savior.com, Ray Comfort’s Hell’s Best Kept Secret, and heard Paul Washer’s “Unpopular Youth Message”
-I became undone after this. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly for at least a few weeks as I felt the hand of God heavy upon me. One night I couldn’t seem to fall asleep as I sincerely trembled knowing God could throw me into hell at any moment and be justified. I actually prayed, in my heart “please God, don’t let me die until I know I’m saved”
This is a far cry from how I used to view myself. I got an honesty award in 3rd grade and a Christian character award in 6th grade. Deep down I knew I didn’t deserve these awards and was battling sin even as a young teen, but to finally see myself as God saw me (a hell deserving sinner) was definitely eye opening and terrifying. Nothing mattered anymore except knowing that my sins were forgiven.
Ultimately, I hit a point where after reading the words of the publican. I went to my bedroom and asked God directly to have mercy on me, a sinner.
Sadly, after this, I struggled for a long time regarding whether or not I was saved because there is so much confusion regarding how to be saved and how words are defined biblically.
One teacher would correctly teach the law as the schoolmaster to Christ (which heavily convicted me) and then say repentance is a complete turning from sin and I needed to confess and to name the specific sins as a prerequisite for salvation (like Ray comfort). I didn't know if I had truly done what God asked of me and did not want to find out I was going to hell on Judgement Day.
I also asked many people in my life about how I could know if I was truly saved or not but didn’t know if I could even trust what they said. Surprisingly, some said that a genuine concern on whether or not I was saved was actually a sign I was saved. Ultimately, I needed to go to God directly.
Eventually I hit a point where I just wanted to trust what Christ did instead of listening to all the voices around me. Again, I found myself in my room and said something to the effect, “Lord, thank you for showing me it’s not what I’ve done but what you did” this part may sound scammy, but immediately afterwards I felt my heat in my stomach and peace came over me. I was able to eat properly for the first time in a while without feeling sick to my stomach.
Since then I’ve continued in God’s word. The articles on this site have brought a lot of clarity. For example, I was already disillusioned with them but now I'm completely disgusted with Holidays like Christmas and Easter and don't celebrate them. I would've never known the truth about their origins unless I came to this site.
---
I also wanted to add that I am thankful for Chris’s teaching on repentance. I’ve only recently fully understood repentance through reading his article and then checking it against the words of scripture. It's crazy how grief and godly sorrow is clearly taught throughout both the Old and New Testament but so many church buildings and individuals get it wrong. Even I had it wrong for a long time.
I’ll fully admit at times I still question the validity of my faith and feel the need to examine myself, but I believe I was saved in my late teens. I'd be happy to answer any questions and will actually have a website up soon that may end up giving a few more details. Thanks.
I found CLE a while ago. I've read many of the articles and listened to many of the audio teachings but never introduced myself. I've been meaning to join for a long time as it's extremely hard to find a group of believers who want to follow Christ in truth. I'm surrounded by 501c3 church buildings.
Eventually, I will most likely ask to be an official member but for now, I want to start with my testimony. I know it's lengthy (despite it being the "short" version), but I didn't want to miss important details. Please see below:
----
-I grew up wanting for nothing. Still, I dealt with seasons of crippling depression and wondering about the purpose of life despite being raised in church/youth group culture, in a religious home, and feeling emotional during the unbiblical altar call and praying a "repeat after me" style prayer every so often.
-Grew up being forced to sing the song “Gentle Jesus meek and mild” before bed by my parents. After reading about Christ for myself in my late teens, realized he was gentle at times, but also stern and he did not shy away from topics like hell.
-In fact, he was clear about what Hell would be like and who would be going there. He said follow me and didn’t back down, whereas in the typical church building, they teach “accept Jesus please, he loves you so much” which is partially true, but not at all how Christ presented himself.
Christ was never desperate for followers (or big numbers so he could brag about all the salvations during a sunday service), and didn’t stutter when he said “repent or you will likewise perish”. I had never seen this side of Jesus before for myself and it pierced me to the core. Reading though the gospels was genuinely hard and honestly each sentence felt like a personal rebuke from Christ himself to me.
-I also read extra biblical content like Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God, Jesus-is Savior.com, Ray Comfort’s Hell’s Best Kept Secret, and heard Paul Washer’s “Unpopular Youth Message”
-I became undone after this. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly for at least a few weeks as I felt the hand of God heavy upon me. One night I couldn’t seem to fall asleep as I sincerely trembled knowing God could throw me into hell at any moment and be justified. I actually prayed, in my heart “please God, don’t let me die until I know I’m saved”
This is a far cry from how I used to view myself. I got an honesty award in 3rd grade and a Christian character award in 6th grade. Deep down I knew I didn’t deserve these awards and was battling sin even as a young teen, but to finally see myself as God saw me (a hell deserving sinner) was definitely eye opening and terrifying. Nothing mattered anymore except knowing that my sins were forgiven.
Ultimately, I hit a point where after reading the words of the publican. I went to my bedroom and asked God directly to have mercy on me, a sinner.
Sadly, after this, I struggled for a long time regarding whether or not I was saved because there is so much confusion regarding how to be saved and how words are defined biblically.
One teacher would correctly teach the law as the schoolmaster to Christ (which heavily convicted me) and then say repentance is a complete turning from sin and I needed to confess and to name the specific sins as a prerequisite for salvation (like Ray comfort). I didn't know if I had truly done what God asked of me and did not want to find out I was going to hell on Judgement Day.
I also asked many people in my life about how I could know if I was truly saved or not but didn’t know if I could even trust what they said. Surprisingly, some said that a genuine concern on whether or not I was saved was actually a sign I was saved. Ultimately, I needed to go to God directly.
Eventually I hit a point where I just wanted to trust what Christ did instead of listening to all the voices around me. Again, I found myself in my room and said something to the effect, “Lord, thank you for showing me it’s not what I’ve done but what you did” this part may sound scammy, but immediately afterwards I felt my heat in my stomach and peace came over me. I was able to eat properly for the first time in a while without feeling sick to my stomach.
Since then I’ve continued in God’s word. The articles on this site have brought a lot of clarity. For example, I was already disillusioned with them but now I'm completely disgusted with Holidays like Christmas and Easter and don't celebrate them. I would've never known the truth about their origins unless I came to this site.
---
I also wanted to add that I am thankful for Chris’s teaching on repentance. I’ve only recently fully understood repentance through reading his article and then checking it against the words of scripture. It's crazy how grief and godly sorrow is clearly taught throughout both the Old and New Testament but so many church buildings and individuals get it wrong. Even I had it wrong for a long time.
I’ll fully admit at times I still question the validity of my faith and feel the need to examine myself, but I believe I was saved in my late teens. I'd be happy to answer any questions and will actually have a website up soon that may end up giving a few more details. Thanks.